Thursday, October 28, 2010

technology news

Sadly, in tech news, Sony has just announced that it will no longer be manufacturing and selling the Walkman Cassette player.  Yes, I said cassette.  I didn't know they were still making these things- it goes to show you that even after 30 years, in the face of stiff competition, the Walkman Cassette had such a strong appeal and hung in there and refused to die. Or maybe it's just a lot of clueless dumbasses out there.

In the 80's,


all-american 80's family
big on heart and hair

before IPhone, MP3 players, CD players and the erosion of family values, there was the Walkman Cassette player. The Walkman was one of the 'must have' gadgets of the 80's and it established yourself firmly in the 'hip' crowd.  It can be argued that the Walkman started the now ubiquitous trend of social self-alienation - Now one finally had a way to drown out the irritating sounds of their family, and you could also pretend you didn't hear the homeless man asking for change-combine that with a pair of dark sunglasses and you practically became invisible.  The Walkman was also very convenient. Your music was truly portable and could go wherever you wanted to go. No longer did you have to lug around a heavy boom box to the playground to enjoy the sweet sounds of  Wham! while swinging away to your little hearts content. And if you wanted to get in the new fad of  'jogging', the Walkman was there for you, caressing your ears with sweaty foamy goodness.  But like all technology, something better is always around the corner. 

hedonistic sex symbols

RIP Sony Cassette Walkman

early 80's, tape recorder days-  it really sucked

a couple years later I got a general electric boom box, a huge upgrade in music equipment

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Blossom Redux

Erick I thought I'd help you out and give you an idea of what you would look like dressed-up as the coming-of-age character that had such a major impact on your childhood.

Last Minute Costume Idea

I don't think I've ever planned a costume more than a week prior to Halloween. Last year I was Tim Allen and a group of us went as the marvelous Home Improvement cast. My girlfriend Bianca was the Tool Time girl, (she went for the flashier, sexier female on the show, as opposed to Jill Taylor who does not encourage boners) my other friend was Al Borland, and another friend got called into work last minute and sadly could not be the character I was looking forward to the most, Wilson the neighbor. (He was going to carry around a partial fence in front of his face.) This was all probably a week before Halloween and we hit the thrift stores (bad Tim Allen 90's ties and pleated khakis) and the hardware store. (bought handyman tool belts which I think we later returned - sorry economy) Coming off such a successful last minute costume idea is hard to top. I once again told myself I'm not going to be anything. I'm old. I'm tired. I didn't plan on going anywhere. Now, Bianca is pressuring me into figuring out a costume. What are you going to be? I can't top myself from last year. I peaked at Tim Taylor and for the rest of my Halloweeen life it's going to be down hill.


I'm thinking this year I may dress as my childhood hero, Blossom. We look similar and have a lot in common. We both have large noses, great smiles, and an artistic flair. I would have to hit the thrift store but I'm sure I can throw together this bad-ass look and best of all it allows me to show off my best asset, my kneecaps!

It's up in the air whether Bianca will dress as Blossom's best bud "Sixpack" Six or Punky Brewster.

"I found condoms in Blossoms purse, Whoa!"

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

honored guest

 A Guest Post by Mr. Art N. Craft,

Yeah , I know, a plain ol jack-o-lantern.  Look, I'm not interested in carving out some over-the-top fancy-schmancy design like that of pop stars or cute animals. Not for me. People are even using motorized tools like a Dremel.  Unbelievable I tell ya, Everything nowadays is the easy way. I will stick with my trusty ginsu knife I picked up at my neighbor's estate sale- still pretty sharp...considering billy bob's hard head.

The world is just moving too damn fast and everybody is - change, change, we gotta change.  Well screw that! and screw them got damn liberals! There used to be a time when we had values in this country. We are frickin letting the homo's and muslims take over our country and if this continues, there aint gonna be no more white christian babies. Kids used to be able to pray in school, but now they be handing out condoms to 3rd graders and teaching them that sex ed- sounds like they be showing porno movies or something.  Don't get me started on science and their false theories of evilution- I mean cmon, I don't see any monkeys turning into humans. And duh, everybody knows the earth is 6000 years old and that dinosaur fossils were put there by God to test our faith.

I don't agree with all these changes in the world,...but at least let me carve a proper got damn pumpkin.
Oh and another thing- don't be knockin on my door for candy you  free-loaders.  Go buy it like everybody else.

Happy Halloween,

*** The views and opinions expressed herein are those of 'guest' blogger and do not necessarily reflect the views of CIWIS or its affiliates***

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Bucket ****warning*** ***gross*** ***you have been warned***

Even to this day, over 30 years later, the gruesome sights and smells of the bucket still haunts me.  Now, this isn't a pleasant smell like that of a new pile of rail-road ties along the train tracks or the smell of my newspaper route papers burning.  No, this smell was quite offensive. The infamous 'bucket' of 1979 had quite a large appetite for things foul and nasty - you could say that it has seen the worse of human nature.  Noxiousness aside, it did admirably fulfill it's duties and thankfully it never sprang a leak. Yes, ocassionally there was a splash but you learned very quickly to be cautious- you could say that that it helped develop one's fine motor skills. Some qualities that came in handy when dealing with the bucket were: steady hands, good balance, intestinal fortitude, breath-holding ability, grace under pressure, and sheer determination.

The bucket in this photo is not the original bucket nor did it look so white and shiny.  I suppose I should have posted a picture that resembles the bucket of my story, but I wish to be kind and show what our bucket was like when it was gleeming with newness, ready to perform honest work. Afterall, our bucket did not ask to be born and certainly did not expect to be defiled on a regular basis.

On to the story:

new baby erick



A baby of 7+ pounds was born although the weight of burden seemed much higher. The floors in the back of the house which included the kitchen and the bathroom, had to be ripped out and replaced.  My mom had the good sense to escape with the baby during these repairs leaving us to fend for ourselves. We added a toaster oven to the living room and removed the toilet. While the floors were being worked on, we had pot pies for a week. The beef was my favorite followed by turkey as a close second.  On hindsight, maybe pot pies although convenient, may have made things worse.
We had no toilet but we had a bucket.
It was my job to empty this bucket of multi-colored yogurt swirled excrement in the sewer that was in our backyard.  Yes I had to look in the bucket.  You had to size up your opponent. You had to prepare. You had to judge the potentiality of splash- it was all a logistics thing. Failure was not an option,

kid stuggling to carry bucket, much like me
lucky kid was prolly hauling water or got it easy kiddo!

 From the house, I would just go forward with tunnel-like vision toward that sewer, which by the way was a catch basin - ooops health hazard for the city.  I would empty the toxic dump making sure to hold my breath, for the fumes could make you pass out.  The last thing I needed was my limp lifeless body falling head first into a vat of the family stew. Winter was well on it's way so a combination of the cold weather and the fresh warm contents usually created an interesting cloudy fog that no doubt attracted the attention of our neighbors on both sides.

"Good Lord!, what are you people doing? and what the **** is that smell?"
I've often wondered why I love so much that scene in "Christmas Vacation" when Eddie is emptying the waste from the RV into the sewer. I guess I can really relate to it all - I've been there, I done that.  It's like a badge of honor- I can tell people I've dealt with some major shit in my life and I'm stronger for it.  Sure would love to get a photo with me and Eddie posing near a sewer or something. That  **** would be funny.*

* ok I really don't want a photo with randy quaid

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I wanna barf

What happened to suspense? Halloween? Jaws? Where the Soundtrack and the impending danger is what freaked you the fuck out. Recent horror films get right to the action of killing. And stay with the killing. Will this person ever die? Still killing. Wow, he just keeps stabbing her in the face. This is very disturbing. Maybe that lunatic on the corner screaming through a bullhorn about violence on tv and film being bad for children is right? Nah, he just pissed his pants.

For those that don’t want to see gratuitous violence which seems to be the new horror of the 2000’s which involves repeated stabbing (Rob Zombie garbage) and carpentry work on limbs, (Saw series), and are too much of weenies to watch anything truly frightening (as that list is seriously long) but are instead looking for a more fun time viewing this Halloween, here is my top 10 list of fun horror movies that are part scary but mostly awesomely fun.

Top 10 Awesomely Fun Horror List

1. Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Duh. Watch it. I talk to a lot of peeps that think they might have seen this but they’re not sure. Trust me if you’ve seen this you’d remember. It’s amazing.

2. Re-Animator (1985)

I just remember loving this when I saw it a few years back.

My memory is bad. I dunno. It’s great. Watch it already.

3. Drag Me to Hell (2009)

This wasn’t promoted very well, and it’s saddening to think that this

went by without getting the attention it deserved. Basic concept that

goes a long way with a great director.

4. Creep Show (1982)

Five short stories which are forever burned into my memory. Nuff said.

5. The Fly (1986)

Warning. Do not eat anything with a tomato base, or any liquid say

like queso, as there is a lot of gross shit that goes down involving vomit and blood and a shirtless Goldblum. Barf.

6. Gremlins (1984)

Come on, it’s Gremlins. Not to sound like a screenwriting tool but

the original script was a lot more horror filled before it got into the hands of family friendly Spielberg

at the time. There was no cute and cuddly Gizmo! I know!

7. Child’s Play (1988)

The Chucky franchise has made a mockery out of the original Child’s Play film. Shit I forgot it was called Child’s Play and not Chucky. Not to say it wasn’t self aware of it’s campy-ness, but it eventually turned into a parody of itself much like what happened to the Nightmare on Elm Street series. But the original has a lot of genuine scares.

8. Fright Night (1985)

Vampire movie. Kind of slow, kind of dated, but it has great old-fashioned horror effects. The best character is ‘Evil Ed,’ who steals the show. Look at him, he's not even the main character and he's on the cover cuz he's that amazing. They’re doing a remake of FN currently and McLovin will be reprising the role of ‘Evil Ed.’ I’m intrigued.

9. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Most films that take place in one location bore the shit out of me. Loose script, awesome cast, fun gore, this is good stuff.

10. Idle Hands (1999)

It’s a lot sillier than scary for you true blue weenies.

Honorable Mentions:

Beetlejuice, Ghostbusters, Tremors, The Burbs, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, and Nightmare on Elm Street.

What did I miss?

favorite horror movie

As satan's day is coming up I thought I'd highlight a movie near and dear to my black heart. John Carpenters' 1978 Halloween is by far my favorite horror flick.  I don't know how old I was when I first saw it on tv, but it is very possible it was in 1980 when NBC had the rights to air it, albeit with additional footage to make up for the stuff that was censored.  I do remember being scared ***tless for this movie had it all, freaky music, awesome plot, evil-as-hell-villain, and great use of 'false startle' techniques. This movie never gets old with me, and I try to see it every year around the time of halloween.  Halloween just isn't halloween without some good ol fashion evil.


was this not one of the best horror scenes of all time
-good luck today trying to poke an eye with a plastic hanger-


look real close at this man's face

Thursday, October 21, 2010

a brief history

Erick Pausz said...
*confide in concerning personal matters? - Can you be any more vague?"
October 20, 2010 4:00 PM

I sense this blog may head in a more personal direction <gasp>

edit: having just come back up from the bottom of the page - It's a long read. get in a comfy chair with a cat and a strong cup of coffee.

as a young kid I was terrified that satan was coming to get me.....thanks for the nightmares religion!
Ok, here goes.  To that awesome co-worker of mine, I was able to reveal that I was in fact gay. She may have been the first non-gay person I came-out to before I told my immediate family.  This was probably 2001.  It was a relief -a giant load off my shoulders- with this revelation at the workplace.  The chains of deceit had been broken.   I chose to tell her because we got along so well and it seemed very dishonest of me to carry-on with this secret.  Although my memory is sketchy, I believe, maybe falsely, that she may have taken a liking to me. This may NOT be the case, but I thought it was better to be safe than sorry, as I have run into this situation before and it always put me in an awkward position.  She was totally cool with it, and soon I was telling her about my social life.  I told her about this guy Paul who I had really liked, who was in my circle of friends. Paul eventually became my first boyfriend and after some months when things ended, it was comforting to have someone listen to my love problems.  It was a rough period for me as I was so enamormed with the guy.  This may sound out of character coming from a guy who is forged from iron and steel and the piss of a wild buffalo, but I was a romantic.   Once I drove out to Naperville after a late-night shift on a cold winter night just to place a rose under his wiper blade that he would find in the morning before work. Ok, this all sounds so mawkishly sentimental now and I'm tempted to delete this line.  Aww hell- I don't care- I'm leaving it up.


It felt so good to finally be out of the closet after 30+ years of life, even if the door was only partially open.  My regret is that I didn't have the courage to do it sooner.  I was so much in denial and so deep in the closet that I was finding Christmas presents! I think back to the college days the and girls and guys who would flirt with me, -obviously I couldn't do anything with girls, and the guys, well I assumed that I was misinterpreting signals-even when a dude who lived on my dorm floor started massaging my neck as I was studying out in the hall.  "oh he is just being friendly" I thought.  Man I was an idiot- the guy was cute.  I don't even think I entertained the notion of coming out.  I thought "how could I be gay?" - I'm nothing like richard simmons or those other stereotypical gay men.  I was a tough guy....for cryin-out-loud 'I know how to operate power tools and build shit!  It just did not make sense.  Gay people as I learned later, come in all shapes and styles. 

freshman at SIUC @ Carbondale

If one reads any stories about coming-out, a recurring theme is one filled with fears of rejection and societal stigma.  Many simply choose to avoid all this trauma and live a lie and even get married and have kids.  Was I tempted to do this? Yes, I was.  It would have been an easy thing to do - many people do exactly this. I'm glad I didn't fall into the 'conform to society' trap and the sure-to-follow unhappiness. 

It all started with a PC- thank you technology.  My eyes slowly opened when I began communicating with people who were like myself.  The day I got a computer (2000) and had access to a chat-line was when things started to change and led me on my journey of acknowledging and then accepting the 'real me'.  Every night after work I would log on to, which was the biggest and well known gay site at the time.  It was an exciting new world.  I found out a lot about myself and how people viewed me.  At the time, I would say I had some low self-esteem issues and really did not know how i would fit in with this new crowd or if anyone would even be interested in me.  I started out chatting in the main rooms and getting to know people.  Let me clarify- the chat line wasn't all just a bunch of strangers, for in due time somebody would host a party and you would eventually meet a lot of people from the online world. And let me be sure to state, that these are social parties- not orgies! or whatever dirtiness one may think- just simple meet-and-greet basic stuff.

Once I met people in person,  I soon found myself to be a pretty popular guy.  The chat room experience was suddenly a lot different..  I got a LOT of attention and i loved it all, for this was all new to me and unexpected.  Few people got this
treatment and it bewildered me. I felt like I was a celebrity in a small subset of a population. People would instant message me and ask why i was so popular- that the room was quiet until I came in.  I didn't 'know' exactly what it was- i thought it had to have more to do than that I was a tall guy with muscles who was decent looking for there were 'model' types online. I think it was more due to my joking, friendly nature and that I came off as someone who was not a fake in an online world that was full of it.  I included everyone in my conversations irregardless if the person appealed to me or not. I know I'm rambling on about this chat thing but it was such a big deal for me and helped form an identity for myself- cause I was pretty much lost in my 20's with no outlet.


Well I soon found myself addicted to all this newfound attention but eventually I knew what I really wanted, and that would be a relationship. In the openly gay world you could be two different things.  You can either be a slut or look for love.  When I first entered the chat world I thought the only option was to be a slut, for a lot of people were there to hook-up- y'know the old a/s/l?.  I had no idea that there were people like me who wanted more than to merely satisfy sexual urges.  In due time, and after many private conversations i soon found out the reasons for a lot of the heartbreak for many gay people.  There was indeed many who wanted love but is just seems more difficult in the gay world and I would say a lot of that stems from not having many positive role models of gay people, not to mention, a society that continues to treat gay people like second-class citizens using man-made bible stories to make them feel ostracized.  So, you have a lot of gay people who are jaded, hurt, emotionally distant, and fearful, so it is not a shocker at all to understand why so many take the easier route of unfeeling promiscuous sex. Yes, people can use sex as a means to 'feel' something much the same way an obese person uses food to fill a void.

Through chats I read many horror stories of people beat-up, disowned, thrown out of the house etc.  No wonder the suicide rate is so high for young gay men. And this is supposedly a Christ-like nation? Bull***T! Ghandi said it best, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."  I think our country is truely despicable for the way it has treated it's own citizens.  It absolutely enraaaaages me to think it is 2010 and this country is still so bigoted.  Things are changing, and are better than 10 years ago as more young people are increasingly staying away from hateful religions and are forming their own opinions separate from the ignorance of their elders. 

I can't relate to the horrors that young gay men went through for I was older when I came-out and not as vulnerable.  I was fortunate that my family accepted me for who i was and didn't give me grief about it.  I do remember however, telling my mom and her looking panic striken. And i'll never forget her words "but you would make a good dad."  I'll admit, the thought of a chris jr. does seem pretty epic and the little dude would be a genius,  and he'd find a cure for the dreaded disease of 'stupidity' that plagues our nation. Ah well, nice thought, but it was not meant to be.

Mom 'the scream'
At this time I also had a circle of gay friends and we would usually go out to eat at different restaurants or attend chicago events.  I had not hung out with people since my college days, so this was all different for me and it got me out of the house besides going to work.  As mentioned 40 minutes ago, through my friends, I started seeing Paul.  He was one of 4 guys I dated in the next 10 years. At the moment, I'm in the process of divorcing myself from a relationship that started on 11/14/04.  Everyone likes guy number 4-he is a good guy and there are a lot of fond memories.  He still tries to contact me and still thinks we can make it work.  Deep down I know it can't and it saddens me.  I think a lot of people stay involved in unworkable relationships out of convenience or nostalgia; not everyone likes change. I have realized it is much better to be alone than put yourself through emotional distress. 

As the big 'fore-oh' looms ever closer, I plan on not repeating the mistakes of the past.  One thing about mistakes though, you learn from them and they help make you a better person. At least, that's what they say.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ryne Sandberg will NOT be the new Cubs manager

$%^^%%^ you cubs front office!
Why pass up on Ryno??? ugh, I'm disgusted. Now, I can understand you would want to pick the most qualified person to lead your team and they didn't think ryno was the guy, but since when have the cubs been serious about winning lately?  How much worse can it get? You had a chance to get a beloved cubbie icon who is in the hall of fame. The guy lives and breathes anything cubs. After spending 4 years in the minors to learn more about baseball, the guy won the pacific coast league manager of the year in 2010. Are these awards meaningless? There are an awful lot of disappointed cubs fans with tears in their beers.  I think Ryno is done waiting...he will move on.  A sad day for chicago.

Notable Evergreen Parkers

Erick you wanted a post about some fellow EP natives and I stumbled upon what could be a scandal of epic proportions.  I search for evergreen park and on the wikipedia page I find 'notable people'.  I found jenny mc carthy, george wendt and joey kovar.  since you had already wrote about the great joey I had to choose either jenny or george.  I was all excited to write about the great blonde playboy bunny jenny mac as she was near my age and also attended my alma mater SIUC at the same time I was down there. I even remember having the issue and that jenny had created a lot of buzz on campus.  Turns out, jenny, even though she was in our southside area, was NOT born in EP as is claimed on the wiki page.  Neither is george from 'cheers' fame.  As you know, wiki can be freely edited by the populace. Ok so what the hell is going on here?  Is EP so desperate for some semblance of fame that they will lie and misrepresent.  This is embarrassing. Was someone hired by the city to perpetrate this fraud?? I'm hoping one day we can put up a legitimate 'star' on the EP pages. .  We of course have a few noteable sports stars but i was hoping to get a hollywood star and as of now, we just got joey.

last halloween costume

Erick Pausz said...
when is the last time you seriously dressed up? what were you?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Made in Evergreen Park

Yo Chris,

I thought we could do a post dedicated to people from our home town of Evergreen Park. Good or Bad, well known and not so well known. With a little research I'm sure we can come up with some natives or those who passed through our home turf at some point in time. As you mentioned in a previous post one of those people being the infamous Ted Kaczynski aka the Unabomber who attended our very own high school.


Joey "Karate Chop" Kovar

The first native Evergreen Parkian I'd like to put in the spotlight is an up and coming actor known as Joey Kovar. I was unaware of his awesomeness until my nephew asked me if I knew of him and if we ever shared a locker or possibly a plate of tater tots together in high school. I did a quick search on IMDB and learned I am a few years his senior making it impossible for us to have become best buds. I would like to share with you his IMDB profile page which is really sad. Shoot for the stars Joey! And don't tell anyone you're from Evergreen Park.


Yikes. This bio is heavy stuff. Yet the writer somehow makes lemonade out of dog shit. Especially the effortless transition when mentioning Joey's move from The Real World to VH1's Celebrity Rehab. Man this bio writer is genius. Which I'm pretty sure is also Joey. And I'm glad to hear Joey stole the spotlight from every living, breathing thing and out shined all the other RECOVERING ADDICTS. In yo face suckas! Eat it! Eat it Kovar style with a side of crazy eyes! It goes on to tell about his sad and depressing childhood but ends on a inspirational high note. Joey is going to be an Action-Star! Yay! I love happy endings!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

death- don't read if this makes you uncomfortable

so I was at a family function today and the topic got around to death, or more accurately, what kind of services one will plan; the ole traditional casket-in-a-cemetary, cremation or the newest trend out there.  No one liked the new trend in burial that I mentioned and no one liked the idea of my after-death plan, which is just tentative at the moment.

my thoughts on the casket. I don't get it.  they place you in a comfortable looking container, firstly to show you off in that gorgeous interior- and then seal you up to keep those hungry worms at bay.  These containers are expensive as hell because these things are like works of art. oh you thought that dresser you bought at ethan allen was the epitome of fine craftmanship- no comparison, and I wouldn't be surprised if these things could come with built in tv's and dvr's which the survivors can  remotely access and play all their favorite movie or tv shows.  "my deceased husband joe loved watching the cubbies and we still watch the games together". now you can get these coffins in wood or the more expensive metal which is more durable and will take longer to decompose than wood. you can also get them hermetically sealed for ultimate protection but of course you have to pay more money which the funeral home will have no qualms guilting you into acquience. so get this, apparently loved ones, or dead-to-be will pay a lot more money to preserve them/themselves as long as possible.  why?? you are dead and you aint coming back, so physical appearance should not be a concern.  if one is hermetically sealed in metal the anerobic bacteria that thrives in air-tight places get to work breaking you down to a putrified state and now your funky fluids can't drain out and you of course just ruined the nice plush interior.

"When a corpse enters this liquifaction stage, the organs within the thorax, abdomen and skull will turn into viscous, foul- smelling liquid "goo". The water locked in muscle and fat tissue will also be released. Any embalming fluid in the body's veins and arteries will also leak out. When this happens, these liquids will be released into the casket, due to the decomposition of the epidermis (skin), which normally keeps the body's liquids within the body during life. If one were to disinter a casket from a grave or mausoleum several months after burial or emtombment, it is possible that perhaps 10 to 25 gallons, or more, of liquids could be sloshing about in the casket."

Ugh! gross. Do you want to lay in a liquid skin-meat soup? I don't.  That is why I would prefer cremation over this wet mess.

then someone mentioned a mausoleum.  why? why do people want this? it sounds so creepy.

Ok let's get to the new trend and that is 'green burial' - an environmentally friendly approach. no chemicals, no concrete vaults and no metal containers.  it's all natural.  you can use a pine box or be placed in shrouds and you can be buried in only 3 feet to hasten the decomposition process. you quickly return to nature as we are all made of the components of nature. your atoms can became part of a tree.  now doesn't that sound awesome!

Now i will mention my plan and that would be to donate it to forensic science. i saw this cool show on PBS and what they do with cadavers.  They just throw you in a field or forest- above ground or a shallow grave.  You will then be videotaped to document the various animals that come to feast on your remains. birds like to go for the eyes.  scientist learn a lot and use this information to solve murder crimes.
As I said, no one liked this idea.

don't worry I'm not fixated on death or anything.  I just think it's interesting that so many fear death or what will happen after death.

I'll never forget my older neighbor in rogers park who lived in my building and had such a nonchalant attitude about it all. she was on an oxygen machine and in increasingly poor health. she called me daily to check her O2machine or just to visit her/or do some errands. It was a rough period to watch someone go through this. when there was a period where I hadn't seen her in a few days she sent me an email that was something to the effect, 'please chris can you check on me every now and then for I worry that I may pass and I don't want to stink up the building'
What she wrote was much better, for she was a professional writer with a great sense of humor.
When I saw her after the email she proceeded to give me the phone number of the people to come and take her dead body. She said this like it wasn't a big deal and we laughed about it and I was even going to do a video skit with her as the frail old woman and me as the uncaring neighbor. She was all for it and laughed hysterically at the lines I had written.  I'm trying to recall but all I remember and it goes something like this:

               "So chris if I die, can you call the number that is on fridge. the people will come and take away my body"

Me-       "oh wow that's weird, I hope you don't plan on dying anytime soon cause i'm pretty busy these days"

               "just a quick phone call is all"

Me-        "I got a couple weeks in june where things will slow down...will that work for you?"

                "chris I'd hate to burden your life like this-tell you what, you can take the food in the pantry
                 after you call"

Me-         "ok gonna stock up on snacks? you are kinda low on everything"

It went something like that and we both laughed at how absurd it all was. Unfortunately we never got to do the video.
I put it on the back burner and then it was too late.

RIP Marvyn Womack

Saturday, October 16, 2010

what is a seahawk anyways?

                                  4-1                                                                                                                                         2-2

thanks to some cool nature site- a seahawk is one of several nicknames given to an Osprey - an awesome bird of prey.
now we understand our adversary better.  those pesky seahawks are coming into bear territory tomorrow in an attempt to hand us our second loss of the season.  not gonna happen. these birds although more adept at catching fish and doing some cool-ass fly bys,  they can't match the brute power of a bear nor it's appetite for destruction.  Cutler has been cleared by the brain doctor to play this week and with the momentum of last weeks play and some changes on the Oline we are gonna swat them outta the sky with the ease of a kanye west muttering something stupid. Ok, maybe not that easy.

No score prediction as I have not studied the matchups. 
Bears win! somehow

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Halloween - big decisions

Halloween is fast approaching and I have yet to get my
evil going.  I need a mask. I wan't something really
frightening, y'know something that would scare the beard
off chuck norris.  That is a tall order, I know, but one
can only hope. So, I asked my long-time, true-blue, die-hard
followers to send me some examples. I must now choose.

This is not that scary.  What's more scary is the thought of all the food that would
be lodged in between those teeth..ugh

aliens are not scary.  but I'll say this, If aliens landed, I would have the fear.  I'd fear that they are so  smart they would sense mankind's overwhelming stupidity and leave 5 minutes after they land

                                                  oh please,  how long before someone would ask me for a joint


                                                          how is this scary? you can find people that look like this in walmart

                              kinda scary but, I'm liable to get smacked on the left side of my head for shits n giggles, no thanks

                                                                   We have a winner!!!!!!!!!!1111!!1111!!!11!11!1


                                  WTF IS THIS SHIT???                          WHOA



  This is disturbing! This is pure evil! I want it!              

                     Does this come in a mask??
               I don't know if I want ghoulish preacher or horse-face woman   

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