Sunday, January 30, 2011

I'm a vaper now!

Although it sounds tempting and a lot of fun, I'm not sinking my fangs in the necks of innocent unsuspecting victims for their life sustaining juices.

Oh? What are you talking about? You one of them pussies??

Calm down dead shirley.  Vaping is the term used to differentiate from those who 'smoke'.  Instead of inhaling harmful tobacco smoke, one is inhaling much safer vapors from an e-cigarette.  It mimics the act of smoking- the repetitive hand-to-mouth action, the nicotine fix, and of course the the throat hit and beautiful cloud of smoke.  It's basically a nicotine delivery device, like the patch or nicotine gum but much more satisfying.  All this without the offensive odors, coughing up half a lung, and the perceived loser status.  The e-juice is available in a wide array of flavors and varying levels of nicotine strength. You can gradually reduced your nic levels to zero. An e-cig is a marvelous product that will change lives- I highly recommend it.  You will also realize substantial money savings!  No wonder the tobacco companies are all nervous and appealing the FDA to have it banned- this cuts into their profits. Below is a video from doctor vapor, yes a doctor, who quit his 30 year smoking habit and now recommends vaping to all his patients.

 Ladies and Gentleman, The President of the United States.

during the rancorous health care debates

Barack needs to get on this shit!  He could set a great example.  Not many jobs are as stressful as his- so if he can do it, many will follow.  I hope you're reading this blog Mr. President.  I hope you pick up an e-cig.  You will improve your cardio-your b-ball game will get better.  You could vape anywhere in the white house, especially during those important but very boring meetings.  You will not make hasty decisions because you're all panicky to go out and light up.  FFS bro, do this for America.
They got all kinds of different flavors.  Vape a cappuccino in the morn, maybe green apple mid-day, brandy in the eve, and a nuhport or winsome after some long demanding sex.

no it doesn't look exactly like a cigarette. deal with it!

As I type, I'm vaping on my joye eGo pv (personal vaporizer) that I received yesterday from an online order.
This is a top-of-the-line product.  I spent 2 days researching the best pv's on the market and I feel I made the correct choice.
I went bowling with 10 family members last night and  I was the overall 3 game champ*.  Keep in mind, I'm a crappy bowler- I really don't know what I'm doing.  I attribute my unexpected success to my  vaping.  Had I been worried about sneaking a smoke in between my turns, my concentration would have been messed up.  Are you even allowed to go outside with rented shoes? Instead, I discreetly vaped and kept calm, resulting in a one-man pin wrecking operation.
But enough about my glorious win.  I was showing everyone my e-cig and letting them try it.  My nephew was flat out amazed and said he was going to buy it.  He said he was misled about e-cigs as he tried one in the mall that was basically e-crap.  My goal is to get everyone off cigarettes.

strike down that nasty habit!

In the future, there will be 2 possible conversations with smokers.  It'll go something like this

Me-       Hey have you heard or tried an e-cigarette?
smoker- No man, what is that?
Me-       Oh wow, let me tell you all about it


Me-       Hey have you heard or tried an e-cigarette?
smoker- yeah, I don't think it's for me
Me-       Oh wow, you're a fcuking idiot. good luck on your future chemo treatments

*some controversy about my wins.  on paper I had the highest scores.  I'm sorry if others messed up and bowled strikes on my name. too bad, pay attention next time

Feb 13th Vaping to the Grammy Awards on the NSide
I convinced JAsh to order a kit

Feb 22- Drug shipment of crack pipes came in today

Today the 3 joye ego kits I ordered arrived in the mail.  I charged all the batteries and vaped each one to ensure they were in working order (yes I got a lil woozy) David came and got his kit and I went over the instructions with him.  I really  hope this is something he can stick with.  Erick if you get a chance, give a call to encourage him. thanks

Get your eGo here

Get your juice here


Saturday, January 22, 2011

It's not Sunday...Yet

It's Saturday. I'm at work. I've been digesting Bears/Packers talk for almost a week now, close to 2 and a half hours a day of Waddle and Silvy's podcast at work and home. I can't think of anything else. When I opened my eyes this morning, I was coming out of a dream with the last image being a football field, and it was the Bears vs Packers. I have a script I'm really excited about seeing to the end, but I can't get my mind off of the upcoming game. I have bills to pay. But I can't muster the will to log online and pay them. My fingernails are even too long. My hair has gone unmaintained. No time for that. My mind is completely occupied by reading articles about the game, listening to talk radio, and gazing off trying to picture my reaction to the Bears winning in the last minute. I can't remember the last time I was this anxious about anything. It's borderline hysteria. In just 24 hours from now the game will be almost over. I hope my future 24 hour self is very happy with the past two hours of football. I need to get back to my regular non-football, some what productive life, before I completely self destruct and have a meltdown where I just stare off and repeat the words, Bears, bears, bears, bears? bears. I've reached the end of the line. Waddle and Silvy just signed off until Monday. They don't have anything left to talk about. All angles have been completely exhausted. There's nothing else to analyze or discuss. Now the two teams just have to play the game...Twenty two hours boils down to a lot of minutes. Even more seconds. Let's talk about something else already. Bears.

reading the script

So far I'm liking it!  I'm at the beginning and will say the plot grabbed me right away and I'm liking the humor.

Will edit this post as I read more of the script


So I just finished the script- even passed up SNL to finish.  I liked the characters and I thought you had a lot of funny dialogue in there.  It was an entertaining ride!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Why the hate?


                                    "BEARS CAN EAT MY CORNFED ASS!!" ------------

Why, why the hate?  I'm referring to the not-so-loving feelings Bears and Packer fans have toward each other.  Reassuringly, most fans hold a moderate stance and you would probably find a lot of indifferent folk along with a few who just know nothing at all- the latter group being comprised of nerdy kids/nearly all women/new residents of Chicago/metro/those on lactaid.  And let's not forget about the crazy ones.  "It was a cow from Wisconsin that burned down our city!, you damn right I'm mad!"
Hey I'm all for friendly banter and light-hearted ribbing.  Did I just say the same thing twice?  But I don't understand the hatred.  Some examples.

-A Green Bay native taught his daughter her first words. "Buurs nee ta dieeeeeya" screamed 4 year old Farvella, as her beeming parents looked on.

-The FBI foiled the plans of a Chicagoan who was planning on hosting a huge fondue night with his outdoor hot tub.  Plans called for filling tub with velveeta and throwing in some kidnapped packer fans and then feeding them to a thousand hungry rabid mice.

This needs to stop. It's getting out of control.
As the voice of reason, I will say that it is perfectly fine to have a spirited rivalry with another.  It makes things more interesting.  It's fun trash talkin. Let's keep it at that level.

I'm old enough to remember all those nasty cheap shots inflicted on the Bears by Green Bay.  I remember walter payton being knocked out of bounds and pushed over a bench, I remember jim mcmahon being picked up and slammed on his shoulder after the play was called dead, I remember the vicious hit on matt suhey.  But that was a different time.  Those players don't even have memories of it anymore due to repeated head trauma.  So let bygones be bygones.  Let's all join hands and unite in the brotherhood of football fans.



Tuesday, January 18, 2011

bear down chicago bears!

In 4 days and 21 hours from now the Green Bay packers will take on the Bears in soldier field.  The winner goes to the Superbowl to face either the Jets or Steelers.  This is truely a historic game.  They haven't played each other in the playoffs since pearl harbor. It is the NFL's most storied rivalry and there is mutual hate on both sides.  Although the packers are playing very good ball right now, I feel we know how to beat them and will do so on sunday.

predicted path of a devin hester touchdown return

The last time a post was made about the Bears was after their win over the Dolphins in week 10.  A team marching it's way towards the Superbowl should get more attention one would think!  Well, a lot has happened since that Miami game.  I will recap briefly, if anything, for myself to read when I'm 90.  The Bears continued to storm through with their bye week-turnaround with impressive wins over the eagles and jets.  They kept pace with the packers throughout the season, eventually winning the division with a one game lead.  In the playoffs. the bears had a 1st round bye and the packers squeezed out a win over the eagles.  In the second week, the bears hammered the seahawks while the packers resoundingly defeated the number-one falcons. The playoffs will be known for all the upsets.  Vick, Brees, Ryan out.  Peyton and Brady gone.

And now here it is.  The bears and packers.  It doesn't get any more exciting than this.

papa bear halas and lombardi

Monday, January 17, 2011

dazed and confused

January 9th blog entry:
   "Not too long ago I hit the big 4-0 and it went exactly as planned:: quietly and without fanfare. I shut down my facebook wall and hoped for the best."

Five days later I was the unwitting mark of a well-conceived 40th birthday surprise party. Only. being surprised was not the immediate feeling.  More specifically, the 3 progressive stages achieved within the first 10 minutes were, confusion, surprise, and disbelief.

I thought I was going to my youngest niece's 10th birthday party which would be followed by some glorious highly anticipated football playoff games, including the Bears-Seahawks game the next day. I reasoned that a lil girl party couldn't go on that long nor should it interfere too excessively with the football broadcast.  If the singing or noise gets out of hand you could always turn the volume up or banish them to the cold basement.
So, I walk through the front door and before I took my third step I noticed a bunch of people making a lot of noise in unison.  What's is this?, Did they yell surpise?, I thought to myself quickly scanning the room for recognizable faces.  A couple thoughts raced through my mind as I absorbed the confusing situation.  I thought they were surprising Amber and had been waiting for us to get there first.  But how odd though that it had to be so sudden.  At least let us shake off the cold or possibly get some food and drink.

Or was this some joke?  On the drive over I realized that we were running late as both Andrea and Steve had called asking if we were almost there. The first football game started at 3:30 and I wondered if I was holding up the game. It wouldn't shock me that my bro-in-law who abhors tardiness would organize a humiliation posse for the late arrivals.

Thankfully, my irrational thoughts wrought by uncertainty dissipated and with big helium balloons in grasp, I was now realizing that this was indeed my surprise birthday party.  Surprised I was!
You can only stay surprised for a very short time and soon I found myself in disbelief.  I had been had; Mislead and bamboozled!  Heck,  I had wrote in my blog that I took precautions to allow my birthday to fly under the radar.  Setting up my facebook holiday vacation, I  revealed no birthday announcements and the Wall was left:: unapproachable- not even James Bond could get through or even a Maxwell Smart.
 However, 2 weeks ago on my birthday, Ann/Steve n kids surprised me with a Chicago Bears themed cake while we were in Indiana enjoying a deep fried turkey **best damn turkey ever**.   
That was a nice surprise albeit slightly awkward due to not knowing most of the people.  I made it though! I was in the clear!  Now I could set my sights on the New Year and the upcoming Bear football games.

Normally, people who are approaching milestone birthdays, know to have their guard up..They carefully ask questions and dissect all incoming information to see if it syncs-up with their conspiracy theories.  "Oh you want me to show up where and at this time?"  My surprise party was a full 2 weeks after my birthday.  My guard had been shed.  I had no expectations of a party nor was there even the faintest notion that this was a possibility. 

Although initially I felt awkward I eventually relaxed and had fun.  The cake was awesome.  The picture on the cake dates back to when I was 13 years old.  It was nice to see a good sized crowd coming out for me.  An unexpected but pleasant surprise at the party was J who I hadn't seen in almost 4 months. Figuring that I would have to wait another decade before the next milestone to get a party like this, I decided to live it up and get goofy.  Plenty of drinks were had.  I had a blast!  It was fun and surprisingly, it was ok to have the football games as merely background entertainment.  The next day the Bears won their first playoff game against the Seahawks in very convincing fashion.  What a great weekend! Bring it on Green Bay!

"What happened to this little kid?"

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Chicago icon arrested for DUI

C'mon Mike Adamle, you had it all.  What the hell are you doing.

You broke records as a college running back.  You got to play for the Bears as the late great Walter Payton was coming into his own. Jesus Christ on a trampoline!, you were on the sideline when sweetness broke O.J's single game rushing record.  You hosted all those sports shows throughout the years.  You were co-host for the insanely awesome show American Gladitors.  You covered the summer Olympics and let's not forget the XFL! Holy crap!, as an interviewer for WWE you even got to bitch slap one of them roided ring animals. Thankfully you got away from all that craziness, returned to NBC as a sports anchor/reporter and entered and finished a triathalon in your 60's.  Wow, you're freaking 61 and you seem to never age.  I really think you should be the host for Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve.  Ryan out, Mike in. But don't mess this up Mike.

Sold soul to the devil- Unconfirmed

EDIT- January 13th

"WMAQ-Ch. 5 sportscaster Mike Adamle’s blood-alcohol level was under the legal limit after a traffic stop that led to a DUI charge, sources said Thursday"

Sunday, January 9, 2011

kids before the internet

Not too long ago I hit the big 4-0 and it went exactly as planned:: quietly and without fanfare. I shut down my facebook wall and hoped for the best.  A n S surprised me with a birthday cake.  That was nice. Now I'm not one of those people who jokingly say "Oh but I've stopped counting!" or "Oh I'm counting backwards now!" or "This is just too depressing! fml"
It's not that at all.  I accept getting older and I was waiting for 40 with open arms.  I started getting a little nostalgic though.  I was thinking back to what it was like when I was a kid or how life was different before the internet.  Then I was thinking how it's like for kids today in comparison so I jotted down some thoughts.  I'm just brainstorming here. Yeah, some personal memories of my own are mixed in.

Kids before the internet

BRB playing Atari
BRB mothers yell out door for kids to dinner
BRB building huge tree fort in backyard
BRB building an underground fort along rail road track
BRB playing on the rail road tracks, throwing rocks at trains, laying
rocks or pennies on rails for smash em up fun
BRB switching to ON TV
BRB MTV without commercials or dumb shows
BRB knowing EVERY kid on the block, not just usernames from people halfway across the country
BRB playing hide n seek with 20 kids on the block well into the fears of kidnappers or serial killers- only one kid is fat
BRB school nights-street lights on - gotta go home
BRB kids playing outside, riding bikes
BRB recording music off the radio and trying to stop it b4 the dj starts talking
BRB no cell phones
BRB using pay phones, make sure you have change on you or make collect call
BRB using the mail to write letters
BRB using the encyclopedia to do book reports
BRB dewy decimal system, going to library, card catalog
BRB ding dong ditch
BRB back yard olympics
BRB wiffle ball, tape up ball for extra power
BRB walking through people's yards to get to next street
BRB walking to school
BRB american eagle everyday before school started
BRB conversations on phone/no IM's
BRB hackey sack, jarts
BRB playing street football with friends instead of Madden Online with friends
BRB going out and doing stuff, not wanting to be stuck in house
BRB pitching balls at a multi-step front porch
BRB people sat on front porches
BRB not getting run over from those talking or texting on phone
BRB tv shows had more substance
BRB climbing trees
BRB tying up the phone with no call waiting
BRB passing notes in class/no texting
BRB  realistic toy guns
BRB typing a paper, erasing every letter you didn't mean to type
BRB at war with the kids from another school " rumble!"
BRB building ramps for our bikes
BRB kick ball and dodge ball
BRB nerf everything
BRB sony walkman
BRB watching scrambled tv signals for possible nudity
BRB old houses in neighborhood, scary made-up stories about them
BRB turning back yard into an ice rink
BRB playgrounds used to be playgrounds/ now they are deemed too dangerous. rocket slide park
BRB waiting for old man neighbor to drive home and all kids rushing over to be first to open the gate for a quarter
BRB trying to record tv shows and labeling the tapes
BRB renting a movie
BRB going with friend to return cases of refundable glass pepsi bottles and getting doritos
BRB music quality was good. also better musical talent
BRB toy walkie talkies
BRB kick the can
BRB having races to see whos the fastest
BRB waiting for the sounds of the ice cream truck
BRB recording tv shows on vcr
BRB type 2 diabetes was for older people
BRB no 500 channels on tv so you watched all those old black and white films
BRB fear did not grip the nation
BRB you had to get off the couch to change the channel
BRB not taking photographs of everything and every triviality
BRB bullying was done in person
BRB waiting for parents to get sunday paper, the tv guide was awesome and I planned my whole tv schedule in advance
BRB making a hammock stretch the limits of it's function- yes upside down loops
BRB wearing homemade halloween costumes
BRB the news media actually reported news, newscasters were respected
BRB video games were simple
BRB you knocked on a friend's door to ask if they could play
BRB a trip to McDonalds wasn't an everday thing
BRB very tall weeds in ditch- could clear a patch and create your own hidden area.....precursor to todays crop circles
BRB watching david letterman in early 80's and thinking this is so much different than carson
BRB walking around with a boom box
BRB flying kites
BRB working out in a converted gazebo, had silly notions of turning this into my room
BRB thought it was so cool to have a tv in room, even if it was a small black n white
BRB staying up late to watch the legendary three stooges
BRB having appreciation for pop culture that preceded our own time
BRB going to gas station with a parent's note to pick up cigs
BRB  thinking rubicks cube was awesome.  hate continues to this day for teacher who confiscated it
BRB stealing baseball cards and clerks didn't care
BRB going to laundry mat to wash clothes, getting quarters at the bar next door
BRB arcade games in 7-11
BRB getting big gulps at 7-11, sometimes twice on a hot summer day
BRB putting in a concrete sidewalk at 13 by myself, fixing, building stuff
BRB changing a tire with those old style bumper jacks
BRB going out at night with shovel and digging up other's landscaping a few blocks down, planting new bushes in our yard
BRB stopping a train with a propped up car hood found along the tracks
BRB breaking a park light and having to work a whole summer to pay it off
BRB listening to old 45's on a record player. older sister got the records at a church sale
BRB kids could spell words properly and use correct grammar
BRB using phone book or calling 411
BRB watching commercials
BRB watching rather, jennings, and brokaw
BRB people in the same house talked to each other
BRB operators were human
BRB looking for jobs in the newspaper
BRB buying music required a visit to a physical store
BRB not keeping up with the joneses
BRB society not over medicated
BRB playing board games
BRB folding up paper maps

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Writing Hiatus

Yo Chris!

I've been on a writer's hiatus as I've been trying to finish a new feature. Almost there. I'll send it to you when I'm done. What's your excuse for not posting?!

In the meantime here's a picture of my cat/coaster.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...