Last Minute Costume Idea

I don't think I've ever planned a costume more than a week prior to Halloween. Last year I was Tim Allen and a group of us went as the marvelous Home Improvement cast. My girlfriend Bianca was the Tool Time girl, (she went for the flashier, sexier female on the show, as opposed to Jill Taylor who does not encourage boners) my other friend was Al Borland, and another friend got called into work last minute and sadly could not be the character I was looking forward to the most, Wilson the neighbor. (He was going to carry around a partial fence in front of his face.) This was all probably a week before Halloween and we hit the thrift stores (bad Tim Allen 90's ties and pleated khakis) and the hardware store. (bought handyman tool belts which I think we later returned - sorry economy) Coming off such a successful last minute costume idea is hard to top. I once again told myself I'm not going to be anything. I'm old. I'm tired. I didn't plan on going anywhere. Now, Bianca is pressuring me into figuring out a costume. What are you going to be? I can't top myself from last year. I peaked at Tim Taylor and for the rest of my Halloweeen life it's going to be down hill.

UNTIL...



I'm thinking this year I may dress as my childhood hero, Blossom. We look similar and have a lot in common. We both have large noses, great smiles, and an artistic flair. I would have to hit the thrift store but I'm sure I can throw together this bad-ass look and best of all it allows me to show off my best asset, my kneecaps!

It's up in the air whether Bianca will dress as Blossom's best bud "Sixpack" Six or Punky Brewster.


"I found condoms in Blossoms purse, Whoa!"