Fox News to Hire Ex-Onion Writers

In the continuing efforts to retain their loyal  core audience, Fox News Channel has decided to take surprising measures and hire ex-onion political writers to revamp the news.  In an interview with Fox News President Roger Ailes, he was pressed to explain these revelations uncovered by CIWIS

CIWIS- Mr. Ailes, in light of our findings, do you feel there will be a backlash that could ultimately affect ratings?

Roger Ailes- Ummm this is a blog right? this is the written word and not some video - correct?

CIWIS- yes you are correct

Roger Ailes- well uh I don't see the problem then- our audience can't read