Monday, November 8, 2010

rocks and serial killers

I normally don't watch much tv. But last night I was being lazy and didnt feel like looking for the remote to turn the channel, so I totally deserved the brutal onslaught of  'Inside Edition'.  I never watch these celebrity tabloid shows. I just dont get it. Why are people so interested in the personal lives of celebrities? It's an obsessive fascination for a lot of people. It makes me nauseous. 
But I continued watching.

They report about that new movie, '127 hours'. I haven't seen the movie or read the story in depth but it all sounds so predictable- man versus nature- blah, blah, blah, -man survives.  It's the story of that mountain climber guy who after 127 hours of his arm pinned by a boulder, decides to chew it off like a rat through cable wires - or maybe he had a knife?
This guy gets a movie? Why? What is the big deal here?  It's an arm, it's not like it was his penis or his head.  And why did he wait so long? It took him 127 hours to make this decision? Could you imagine his indecisiveness as he mulls over a Chinese take-out menu or goes out chopping around for a hat or a pair of gloves.  I'm impatient. I don't like sitting on my hands. I would have freed myself in the first 4 hours or at least before I had to take a crap.




'127 Hours' Director Danny Boyle
"Oh, you're gonna like this one....turn up the volume at the end" tee hee


There can't be much of a plot here.

A. guy is climbing mountain- beautiful scenery, nice music
B. guy falls down mountain, trapping his arm- darkness, ominous music
C. *filler material for an hour* I guess flashbacks on how much he loved his arm, maybe a scene of him winning an arm wrestling match or spiking volleyballs
D. guy severs own arm




Anyway, all was not lost.  They eventually had an interesting story.

This family from Colorado were very distressed to find out that their recently purchased dream home was formally owned and occupied by a man with a bad habit of serial killing. The real estate company did not divulge them of this fact, and now there are tears everywhere.  They are scared to be in this place.  Dreams have been shattered. The Inside Edition camera crew proceed to film the basement and they are directed to an area where one of the bodies were found.....and get this, they show the nearby wall with blood stains on it. WHAT??? WHY is there blood on the wall????  You just left it there??? Are you kidding me. You couldn't hire Merry Maids to take care of this with a scotch-brite or spend 5 minutes sealing a poor sap's DNA with a coat of of Kilz primer sealer???  These people are all panicky having to be in this house but, "oh let me show you the blood splatter....this really freaks me out". Oh yeah, when you try to sell the house, be sure to show prospective buyers your bloody wall. Great selling point.








I lost my sympathy for them and couldn't help find this somewhat amusing.  Personally, I dont see what the fuss is all about. Sure, I would prefer that my house be murder-free and that cemeteries be at least 100 feet away, but life isn't always fair and occasionally you get thrown a curve ball.  If i found myself in a tainted house I wouldn't get all cry-baby about it. I'd deal with it. Maybe I would throw an awesome Halloween haunted house every year. Fun for the kids.


Just when I thought 'What the hell is wrong with fearful people these days?', in comes the next story- that of a California couple that bought the home of convicted serial killer Dorothea Puente.



Infamous house under new and improved ownership





To be fair to the mile-high family, this lovely elderly couple already knew about the home's ghastly history.  But they said,  f**k it, and went ahead and bought the place anyway. They rock! They took advantage of the situation and got a great deal on the price. Very smart.  I was surprised by their cavalier attitude....they were all smiles - definitely in love- and proud to show off their house of horrors.  While in the back yard the man was giving a tour, "here is where she buried one of the victims"


Convicted serial killer Dorothea Puente is now concerned about 
the lack of  good fertilizer for her gorgeous rose bushes




So would you buy a home that had as a previous occupant, a serial killer?  I think I could handle it.  You have to put things in perspective. People die in homes all the time. Whether it is due to natural causes, accidentally falling down the stairs or head decapitation-death is death.  I think people have a fear that the house may become haunted with a restless pissed off spirit who would never leave the house. I dont believe in all that silliness, however, I try to keep an open mind about this stuff.

Sometimes mysterious things have happened like something suddenly falling to the floor or some unexplained noises.  I know this is due to natural reasons but it doesn't hurt to be proactive just in case.  I just pretend that I know 'it's' there.  I acknowledge and confront this spirit a-hole by telling it to "GTFO, you're wasting your time, I don't give a shit if you move my cup, go back in the basement you ass". 

Seriously, I will fight a ghost.

10 comments:

  1. hey C aren't you supposed to be a friendly ghost?? Are you feeling sorry for the armless guy? You gotta look at it like this - guy is voluntarily and knowingly engaged in a risky activity where people lose their lives. He miraculously survives a self-amputation, becomes famous, on all the tv shows, writes a book, is a motivational speaker $25k a speech, has a movie, AND is still climbing many mountains! Losing his lower arm changed the guy's life for the better. So you see, you got all sensitive for nothing.

    not to be a dick but it is - 'you're a dick'

    ReplyDelete
  2. whoa our first disgruntled reader and possible ghost of the blog!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're right on the grammar check, for that thank you very much but you are a dick! I am very friendly until you attack me or my family!!
    The blog was fine until "A-hole, GTFO" and "go back in the basement you ass" and to seal it with your MACHO "I will fight a ghost"...now, who is the "DICK", bitch!!! Just because I accidentally bumped into your cup. You bump into me all the time, tough-guy, and I just excuse it because I am friendly!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I contacted a ghost blog expert who gave me this advice:
    If you believe you have a troubled blog ghost haunting your blog, remain calm and try to open up to understanding the blog ghost communications that may be happening around you. Often, a blog ghost simply
    wants to be recognized as existing - wanting you to know it is still alive before it will
    move on towards another blog. Many times, people are shocked to find out it is someone
    they know and love! Maybe the blog ghost, who is simply another person, really wants to
    deliver a message to someone before feeling released to move towards another blog or website unto peace, joy and love.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ahhhh, sorry casper! for offending you and your family by lumping all ghost as malevolent spirits. It was uncalled for and done out of ignorance.

    hope we can be bff

    ReplyDelete
  6. apology accepted, and the excitement of being your bff caused me to get ectoplasm all over my hands!

    ReplyDelete
  7. accidents like this wouldn't occur if you met up with wendy more often

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's a whole other story, we split due to the fact that she was too friendly with all the others!

    ReplyDelete
  9. wendy the whore witch.....say it aint so

    ReplyDelete

I double, no no...I triple-dog dare you to leave a comment

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