What's Spongebob like in person you ask? Well he's a nice guy, who cares about the environment, buys recycled toilet paper, kleenex, and paper towels and prefers stainless steel water bottles for his kids over the waste that is plastic.
It turns out the face I thought looked very familiar,coming into my eco-friendly shop is in fact Tom Kenny. He's been around for awhile, starting in stand-up, appearing on Mr.Show, doing a lot of voice work, most notably as Spongebob Squarepants. In my opinion probably the best children's cartoon...um, maybe of all time.
In our small little shop we also sell organic mattresses, which Tom showed some interest in. I don't work on commission, but selling a mattress, being the highest priced item in the shop would really help us. I haven't sold one yet but I told Tom to come back with his wife and give our demo mattress a test out. Is it creepy that I winked right afterward. Either way he said they'll be back. This is of course before I knew who he was and now when he comes back in I'm worried the dynamic is gonna change, like somehow he'll know that I know, or I'll try and do a funny voice to impress him. It's gonna get ugly and awkward.
(Check out Tom and his wife, Jill Talley, in the Smashing Pumpkins, Tonight, Tonight, music video) I'm so getting them in bed.
erick I hope your misguided wink didn't scare him off but it would be funny if they came to demo and you cue up smashing pumpkins and provided rope - made of hemp of course.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to wanting to sell the big ticket item. Back in the sex shop days it was a $799.95 cyber skin sex doll that I finally sold through agressive sales techniques
saw a guy eyeing it, discreetly told him to follow me in the back room where we had another one
"go ahead feel it, doesn't in feel real? it's heavy, it's like the real thing-not a cheap inflatable raft, she has three holes for your pleasure, look at the realistic mouth" then i come in with the humor
"she isn't going to give you problems, she doesn't talk, how perfect is that?" etc
he bought it and I took it out the back door to his car
Erick, that sounds like a good story to tell a couple of little girls, "you do have a niece you know"-ha,sound familiar?
ReplyDeleteChris, did you sell that guy a dead hooker?? Sick Bastard
ReplyDeleteoh man, that cracked me up hank! good one
ReplyDeleteno dead hookers but I did find a dead guy sitting in his car once in our parking lot. I was the last one to see him alive as I was the one that rung up his purchase. The discovery began when I left to go to dunkin donuts for another coffee and I noticed the guy sleeping in the car. I banged on the roof of his car but it didn't rouse him. So I went ahead and got my coffee and when i came back he was still there. This time I reached into his open window to shake him and came to the realization that he must be dead.
me to cop:
"can we got those rentals back, cause if it isn't returned we will have to charge the full purchase price"
How explicit was the rental covers to give this guy a heart attack, and did you disclose to the next renter that someone died with this intense porn flick??
ReplyDeletehe was an older man, so I guess he got a little excited at the prospect of seeing non-sagging boobs. we quietly reshelved the killer tapes
ReplyDeleteand we all thought celebrities were rude trashy pigs. there is hope! thanks for filling our hearts with warm thoughts erick. :)
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