Saturday, November 6, 2010

television ads

I'm always amused by the commercials you see during a NFL football game- in my case, the chicago bears, who are sucking so bad that the commercials are more entertaining anyways..  I'm not referring to intentionally humorous light-beer ads but ads for pickup trucks-more specifically, the full sized trucks.  I can't help but chuckle when I see a dodge, chevy or ford mightily showcasing it's mind-numbing horsepower and torque by hauling a cruise ship up a winding mountain or traversing through an impassable river or climbing over monstrous boulders. Nevermind that most people who buy pick-ups would rarely go offroad, if ever they do, or would rarely utilize all 342 cubic feet of bed space-it doesn't matter, guys love their trucks.
 I will give you an example of an inside-the-head conversation of a guy named Chuck, a man dreaming up scenarios as he drools over his future truck.

beta chuck "oh my god dude, there is no way in hell we are gonna get through these fallen trees and that muddy ravine. I think we are gonna ****ing die...I'm so scared......I have 3 kids man....what are we gonna do???"

alpha chuck- "hahaha! - calm down you pansy-ass, you are forgetting that you are sitting in my  ford f350 4x4....the most powerful truck in its class....we are just going to blaze a path of destruction of our will see your chubby kids in no time, so wipe those tears away brah......we gonna kick some earth-ass"

beta chuck- "ok i feel so much better, I'm soooo glad you got this truck, you are one smart man"

 If it's not feats of boner-inducing hauling power,  its an appeal to your pseudo-patriotism with some catchy country song featuring a bunch of cowboy-hat-wearin studs representing good ole fashioned hard workin americans.

Director- "we need more flags and horses....and stubble, stop shaving!"

These testosterone-laden  ads are no doubt effective in piquing the interest of men who want to feel more powerful- guys that wanna break stuff, maybe run down a family of deer or some mailboxes or maybe it's just comforting to know that if there is a 7.4 magnitude earthquake, nothing will stop them from getting a slurpee at 7-11.

Now let's turn away from pickup trucks and focus on the family vehicle. I'm irritated at this one.
There is an ad out for the toyota highlander where some punk 8 year old kid looking on with disdain at the old minivan, tells the camera-
"Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have to be lame,"

Whoa!, I know advertisements are meant to persuade the consumer but this is shameless, -over-the-line I tell ya.  The ad is no doubt targeting parents who would be afraid of appearing 'uncool' to their bratty kids.  I sure hope there aren't spineless parents like this, or our country is ****ed.

At that age, I was just happy that the car would start.


  1. yeah i guess i don't relate to these manly truck commercials. i'm more about the small car commercials where they sing in unison about fuel efficiency.

  2. erick, you have always been good for the environment..low on fuel and food consumption

    you could improve on fuel even further if you hitchhike rather than fly home

  3. Yer rite!! Beta shud lisen to his big bro Alpha. Havin a big ass truck is the only way to go. sissy-ass Beta. True Americans drive trucks, peereyid. n about that stupid pussy van rice burner comershal, it dont make no daggon sense. its like one of dem oxey more ons. sum little hippy-ass boy, that looks like a gerl by the way, gunna tell me you aint cool unless you drive sum shitbox rice burner. i bet if i hooked a chain to my F350 duelly and played tug-of-war with dat Jap toy, i wood drag dat sumbitch across the world tu China, then back up over that fucker and leeve duh flat peece of shit ther.....pisses me off

  4. P.S. Erick......pussy!!

  5. hilljack, I had a ford ranger. certainly nothing compared to your beast of an F350

  6. That's ok Chrissy, a gerls gotta start sumwhere


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