Oscars

Tomorrow is Oscar night. Whoo hoo! Actually, I have a love/hate thing for the Oscars and no it has nothing to do with the tired old complaint/running joke about the length of the show. Seriously people, stop that! It's not funny or clever anymore. Yet every year people are acting like they never heard of a DVR.

I love movies! It's the industry's biggest night and I have been watching these shows since I was a kid. I mainly watch for the comedic moments, my all time favorite host being Billy Crystal. And it's always exciting to see how well a first timer will do. Without the comedians the Oscars would be an extremely boring show. Besides the funny bits, you have the opening montage, the remembrance, honoring past achievement...a lot of good stuff. .Sure it can get slow at times. You can't expect to entertain non-stop like The Grammy Awards. With the exception of those special honorary awards, the speeches are what kills it for me. Usually this is when I leave and get a snack. But I can only get up and eat so much. Some speeches are good but generally it's the worst part of the show. Sure come up and get your statue but do you have to go overboard with the thank you's. It gets out of control. Fine, thank a few key people or spirits but bring out a list?? "I don't want to miss anyone" Why? Will you get in trouble? Will you not get rehired? Not gonna get laid? Why not a short "I'd like to thank everyone involved in the making of this film, you know who you are." There's a billion people watching you. Make it interesting. For cryin out loud you are the creative people, you can think of something! For once I'd like to hear "I was prepared to thank everybody but I just realized you were all just doing your job and we made a lot of fucking money, so I expect to see your thank you cards in my mail" I'd love that!

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I wasn't planning on watching the Oscars as I never really plan on making an effort. Usually, somehow I end up half ass watching, jealous as shit of course. I wanna wear jewels and prance my ass around and get photos taken of my gorgeous perm, and win trophies and junk. Maybe that's why I say I'm going to avoid watching but then still watch because deep down I want to be a Hollywood celebrity and wake up next to Haley Joel Osmend. This year I was invited to countless Hollywood parties to watch, but declined each and everyone of them. One of which was taking place at my girlfriends' parent's house. There was gonna be the fucking most amazing food, and the tv was all HD'd out and shit, and I was like "oh im so there," but then at the last minute her grandma showed up and took my spot and i guess i was supposed to RSVP, and they wouldn't let me in because of some fire hazard with too many people even though when I looked through the window there was only 4 people. So, I just was like whatever and went to my video store and rented Due Date and Eagle Eye. These were good movies. Very different from another. Why weren't these acceptable award nominees. I don't understand Oscar. Anyhow, I ended up watching the Oscars on my DVR very late at night. It was really cool. I liked it. So many sparkly things everywhere. And Bob Hope came back from the dead. In a good way. I will definitely watch next year.
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Apparently you do not take the Oscars too seriously. You say you liked the show and that you wait with bated breath for the next one?? I'm confused here bro. It was an awful show. It sucked monkey balls. One billion people were temporarily depressed. Ninety four people committed suicide during the 'In Memoriam'. Either you are not human or I must conclude that you did not watch it; that you are lying to protect my feelings as I'm sensitive to these kinds of things. It's ok, I can handle it. I'm a grown-ass ass man. You don't have to like the Oscars. But damn this sucks. I had things I wanted to discuss. I had comments. Since you mentioned the odd looking feller Haley Joel Osmond, I was gonna be all like hey Erick "I see dead people", then I was gonna be all like, "speaking of dead people, did you see Kirk Douglas?" But I can't. It's been ruined! Now that I know you don't do Oscar I'm wondering, do you even know who Kirk Douglas is? Did you even see Spartacus?? Have you been staying away from the show all these years? Wow, because you missed a lot. Ok, hopefully the show will get better next year. Hopefully they bring back a comedian. Hope we have something to talk about.

Stay tuned to this post cause I want your opinion regarding some movies that failed to win best picture. I will get back to this later.